Travelling ain't for sissies...

But the jet lag passes quickly.....

Travelling light does not enter Millerlocal vocabulary. All the toys must come with. Clothes and other kak are incidental, but got to have plenty boards and fishing stuff on holiday. Specially when you’re headed to the middle of the Indian Ocean. Epicentre of the wave and fishing universe.

First up, you gotto make sure your toys arrive in one piece. No Andrew Lenton or Dennis Ellis just a phone call away when you’re out here.  And there’re limits as to what your 50ml tube of Ding-all is going to fix.

So pack those babies proper. Rule no. 1: Never can trust those airline staff. Nothing like taking your frustrations out on one of those nicely stickered up Fragile items to break the monotony of an otherwise boring day. General rule of thumb is the more Fragile stickers you have, the more your board gets drop-kicked from A-B. Seri-aaaas. I’ve seen ou’s dropping boardbags out the cargo hold onto the tarmac below. Thwack. “Take your Fragile sticker and stick it up your...”

Me, I take no chances. Foam nose and tail guards. Check. Aircon insulation tubing secured around the rails. Check. High density rubber foam taped onto the top and bottom decks. Check. Into heavy duty coffin boardbags, with towels packed either end. Check. Try stick a hole in that now, you bastards! I dare you!

Sure, it takes a flipping age to pack it up like that, but worth the effort.

K, so far so good. Packed and ready to go. Step 2. Trying to make weight allowance. Yir, here’s a challenge. I travel with the equivalent of a mobile surf shop. Monster coffin bag stuffed with 3 boards, propvol with leashes, booties, fins, wax, gath helmet, flippers, mask, snorkel, rashies, hats, ding repair kit, fishing boxes stuffed with rapala’s and jig’s, and whatever else can be squeezed in.

Oh yah, and my pillow. End up with a kak pillow and your neck gets stuffed ‘n screws up your surfing. Luckily it acts as an extra nose guard. Boardbag ends up at 20kg if you lucky, probably closer to 24.

Now times that by two when you travel with your significant other. Suddenly your domestic weight allowance is stukkend and all you have is 2 boardbags. Add the fishing rod holder, a big PVC pipe, at a further 8kg’s, and a bag for clothes n books (way more books than clothes!) at another 20 odd kg’s, and you best be taking your best smile and charm with you to the check-in counter! Cos at this stage you’re a good 30kg’s over-weight for the domestic flight between the two of you!!!

Plus you hope no-one tries to weigh your carry-on luggage, cos your camera kits and books come in at about 11kg’s, and hub’s one with 2 huge Shimano reels in ain’t much better at 12kg’s! Try look nonchalant with 12kg’s on your bag!

By the way - try flying Emirates if you can – best international luggage allowance at 30kg’s each. Schweet. Plus if you can scam well, you can often end up with a row of 4 seats each to doss on. Straight to the very back to rows 47 and 48. Just claim those seats and glare the shit out of anyone that even thinks of trying to sit in one! Pack all your stuff out over them, put the arm rests up, stretch your legs across. Own them. They will be yours!

Word to the wise. Always a good idea not to book your boards straight through to your final destination from PE. Rather just book em to Joeys, go pick em up and schlep them across to International Departures. Mission I know, but better than your boards taking a detour.  The international check-in peeps just seem to make a better job of getting your board to where it’s meant to be.

Speaking from experience. Happened to us when we went to the Caribbean a coupla years back. Jeesh, now there’s a mission of a place to get to. Joburg to Paris, then across the Atlantic to St Martin. Always a kak feeling when you’ve travelled for 24 hours straight and finally make it for your 7 day sailing/surfing trip....and your boards are nowhere to be seen. “Oh sorry sir, I think they were left behind in Paris. Someone forgot to put them on. Don’t worry, we can have them here in 5 days.” At which stage husband threatened to jump over the counter and moer the ou. Seemed to work. The boards got to us 2 days later.

Yah, travelling ain’t for sissies! Least the fun starts when you eventually get to where you’re going....